Tag Archives: kale chips

Recipe: Kale Chips

This one is for all the folks out there who have ever been monstrously mislead by some weirdo on YouTube about how to make my new favorite snack.

You’ll need:

Ingredients:
1 bunch of kale
1 can of cooking spray
1 unlined baking sheet
1 good size mixing bowl
AND whatever seasonings you want

Directions:
(Before you begin, pre-heat oven to 350)
1. Tear the kale from its stems and DRY IT THOROUGHLY (if it’s wet, those babies’ll burn)
2. Place in mixing bowl
3. Spray with baking spray
4. Season
5. Toss
6. Repeat steps 3-5 until satisfied
7. Put in SINGLE LAYER on baking pan (layer them and they’ll burn or be mush)
8. Use multiple pans if you need to — and remember, kale shrinks when baked
9. Bake for 10-13 minutes, depending on the size of the batch.
10. Gently brush off pan and into bowl when done baking.

VOILA. Delicious kale chips.

I think I want to start going by KALECHIPZ as my Part-Time-Vegetarian-Rap-Name.

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Oh, Brave New World!

Well, last night Chelsea and I made kale chips using nutritional yeast.

The result: nacho-style flavor and our absolute enchantment.

Chelsea saved the flecks of the stuff as though it were precious diamonds, gingerly lifting each chip.

And you guys really should’ve seen me make them, by the way: when I realized at the end that I had CHEETOH HANDS from tossing the kale, I almost gnawed my hand off.

I read in an article that the yeast is often referred to as “hippie dust,” a euphemism I thought was reserved for marijuana. But one learns something new every day.

The phrase is fitting, I think, because this cheesy confection is nothing short of magical. So many possibilities!

It was like that moment where I realized there were SO MANY SEASONS OF WEST WING that I could watch, and that the show would rarely feel dated because My Boy Martin Sheen is timeless. THAT is the type of joy I feel.

And so the world expands.

What else has been magical: the increasing number of Facebook comments, private messages, phone calls, and texts I have received from some of you guys, my dear readers.

And so:

1. First, I think it’s wonderful that so very many of you stop by here each day to read about my latest adventure! This blog has been getting anywhere between 40-80 unique hits a day. WOW!

2. I love that so many of you have told me that you’re finding laughter and perhaps even joy in my stories and in your own adventures related to health.

3. Several people have expressed enjoying that I’ve mentioned the cats. NOW YOU HAVE DONE IT, FOOLS: cat posting will become annoyingly frequent. Muahaha.

4. The biggest blessing about getting so much positive feedback is exactly what I’s hoped for: that by putting myself out there, some of you would come to learn that you are not alone, that there are folks in our own lives with whom we can discuss health, wellness and learning to love ourselves and our lives. The support and warmth and excitement I’ve felt from interacting with you all has been so marvelous — it makes me feel like the world is getting bigger and brighter. For me, and hopefully for you too.

So thanks for making my horizon expand while my waistline shrinks. Your love, friendship and support mean more to me than you’ll ever know.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Namaste.

(Oh, except you vegetarian and vegan TURDS who KNEW all ABOUT nutritional yeast and never flipping told me. You are un-thanked. You let me down for 24 solid years. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME OF ITS EXISTENCE? No Namaste for you!)