Guys, something has gone terribly wrong.
I just got to work, and went to take a sip of my smoothie…
Only to find that somehow, its consistency hearkens back to the day I felt like I was chugging seaweed.
WHAT DID I DO DIFFERENTLY?
The only change is I omitted the banana, since I think its been slowing my weight loss.
I feel betrayed by my own blender.
I am giving it the side-eye, in my mind.
Today, a truly terrible thing happened.
When I was getting ready to leave for work, I went to grab my smoothie from the fridge (I had made it last night).
I shook it up a little since, yanno, greens can look pretty gnarly when they’re left to float in liquid.
To my ABSOLUTE HORROR, the spout on my bottle wasn’t closed.
And so, I coated my kitchen in a layer of what can only be described as “Green, seaweed filled vomit-substitute.”
I swear to you on all that is holy, it was the ugliest substance I have ever seen.
DO I REALLY DRINK THIS THING?
What I have seen, I can’t un-see.