It’s been three years since I started this blog. And two since I last posted in it (I say this in May of 2017). And so much has changed since this blog first began. I came to the “Who Am I?” section today to edit and update, but realized… I don’t want to erase where this started. So I won’t. I’m leaving it here below in italics, and instead will tell you what I’ve accomplished since committing to this journey — and then you can read on, to see just where I started.
Since starting this blog I…
- Have stuck with running (with a few hiatuses) and grown to love it
- Have run 9 half marathons
- Have married Chelsea
- Have moved back to State College, PA for a job at Penn State
- Have won teaching awards
- Have defended a dissertation and earned my doctorate (Dr. Moroski in the house!)
- Have lost about 40 lbs from when I first started, and gained 15 back
- Have become more convinced than ever that wellness is a choice I need to make
And that’s who I have become since starting. Read on to remember who I was when I first started, and how we got from there to here — and to imagine where we’ll head next.
This blog will document my journey, on which I am using both running and Weight Watchers to become healthier, happier and more like the woman I’m fairly sure I was meant to be. (Along the way, it’ll include recipes, tips, tricks, rants, venting, celebration and probably some tears. You are officially invited to stay with me through all of those things, and more.)
So who am I already?
I am Karen. 24 years old. PhD student (already have my MA) at Binghamton University in New York. Gardner. Cat lover. Engaged to the beautiful and supportive Chelsea. Book anaconda (sounds more impressive than “book worm”). Novice Crossfitter. Fledgling runner. Writer. Sister to three great brothers and a sister-in-law. Aunt to the cutest micro-people around. Non-profit administrator. Instructor of First-Year Writing at Bing U. Tutor. Friend. Budding Cook. Daughter. Singer. Classical pianist. Captured Unicorn. And tired of this extra weight.
It’s time to figure out the points of it all.
If you are here, reading this, I need your help. I need it because it’s easy for me to make excuses and rationalize and get down on myself. I need it because I have to feel accountable to someone, including readers like you. I mean, weight loss is so embarrassing for so many people — it’s certainly embarrassing for me. I need your help because I need reasons to remind myself why I decided to tell people I’m writing this blog, and putting it out there in places like Facebook, etc. so that you will come read it. And I, and other women like me, need to know that we shouldn’t be embarrassed that you read this blog or know about our struggles with weight. We need to know that if you haven’t seen us since thirty pounds ago, we don’t need to be ashamed of who we are or how we look now. I, personally, need to know that hiding behind pictures from the shoulders-up only or from certain angles only doesn’t make me any skinnier — it just hides part of me from you. I, and so many other women, need to know that it only makes our world smaller to pretend to be less than we are, in any sense — and that includes our weight.
So is this blog a selfish, needy act? You bet. But being a little selfish in the service of finding health and learning to love one’s self is probably not the worst kind of personal monster to have.
So please, be an active reader. Comment on posts. Haven’t talked to me in years and feel awkward? Don’t feel that way! Still say you think this recipe is awesome/disgusting. Still mention whatever crossed your mind. I need your help. I’ve learned that I can’t do this on my own. Remind me that this is a story worth telling.
Thanks for reading and for being part of this long, long, long-ass journey.