Why I Love NOT doing Weight Watchers!
Karen had asked me to “guest-post” for a while now, and I keep putting it off. Mostly, because she is exponentially more articulate than I am. But, here goes – I hope I do good (hehe that one was on purpose)!
I’m not doing weight watchers, and I love every second of it. I don’t count points, but I eat (for the most part) all of the same foods as Karen. Initially, this was because I knew it would be much harder for her to stick with it if she was going through this journey alone. We don’t do anything alone. I’ve made a promise to stick by her and support her, just as she has done for me. When she decided to commit to these changes, so did I. And I’ve done everything I can to be the sidekick she needs me to be (and I hope I have delivered so far).
But what have I learned since giving myself the title Lady Sidekick?
First, I had to figure out where I fit into the overall picture, and more importantly, where I do NOT fit. I want to be the best support for her as possible – obviously. But what if she craves cookies? Do I spoil her with extra as I’ve always done? If she suggests wings and pizza for dinner, do I suggest something healthier? It’s been a difficult balance. Trying to help her stay on track vs. potentially being incredibly offensive. Girls all around the country develop negative associations with food because too often they hear, “you shouldn’t be eating that.” The insinuation, if not directly said: that will make you fat(ter). I refuse to ever say anything to Karen that could even resemble an iota of that damaging idea. Because it is simply not true. So how do I toe the line? How do I know when to dissuade from certain things, and when to let her decide when and what to treat herself to? I asked. And I explained my position to her. Not just once – always (which she is probably sick of at this point). I make sure we are always on the same page. “Just tell me how to help. If you want a treat, should I remind you about points? I never want to make you feel bad or like I’m policing you. I love you – just let me know the best way to help you!” Her answer may change, or it may stay the same. But for me, I need her to know I am consciously trying to be the best Lady Sidekick possible. Sometimes, that’s all I can do.
Usually, though, there is always more to do. When Karen finds a new recipe that she wants to try, I go with her to the grocery store to help hunt down the bizarre ingredients required. We go up and down the isles, and I will calculate the points of anything new that seems potentially worth trying. In my free time, I’ll google and research different recipes that she may find interesting or tasty. What has the most nutrition packed into the fewest points?
But it goes beyond food. When she’s having a bad weigh in day or feeling discouraged, I remind her it’s a process. I remind her of the progress that she HAS made. I remind her that the scale can only give her numbers, and it is not necessarily indicative of how she actually looks. I remind her that although the scale gives her a good quantitative way to measure progress, the most important part of the whole process is that she is living healthier (not that either of us were ever specifically unhealthy). I remind her that no matter what, with all my heart, she will always be beautiful and I will always love her. Unfortunately, this last bit of advice doesn’t always help as much 😉
Finally, I’ve learned that although I initially jumped on the bandwagon to be Lady Sidekick, I quickly gave myself the title Señorita-This-Is-For-Me-Too. Actually, I gave myself both titles today (in case that wasn’t blatantly obvious). No matter. It’s true. This is for me, too. By not doing weight watchers, I have started living healthier, too. And I feel great. Karen often asks me, “Do you feel like you’re missing out? Do you miss going out like we used to? Is it torture?” Every time I tell her, “not at all.” I enjoy the food we eat, I LOVE experimenting with new recipes with Karen, and it’s the coolest feeling to know that we really are healthy people. We are both doing a great thing, regardless if I am specifically “doing weight watchers” or “counting my points” and we are both doing it together. I love doing anything with Karen, and with her I feel like I can do anything. I hope as her Lady Sidekick, she feels the same.
I am open to suggestions and criticisms, from both her and all of you. For anyone who finds it challenging to be “the supporter” – I’m happy help you too. It’s a tough roller coaster sometimes. When the person you love most feels so discouraged and there is nothing immediate you can do to help, it’s tough. But instead of sneaking a McChicken on the way home so you’re not eating it in front of your person, try joining them on their journey. Even if it’s unofficially. Even if it’s only sometimes, or even temporarily. Make an effort – we can all stand to be a little healthier, and we can all stand to be a little more supportive. Try joining the journey – you might surprise yourself with how much you love NOT doing weight watchers, too!